Shit Sandwich

A little bit ago I posted something about how Jesus people go batshit for Chick-fil-A and I didn't think it was fair because they're just a fucking restaurant and who gives a shit? Well, I am not above eating my own words, so...

Fuck you, Chick-fil-A- You hard-to-capitalize, over-hyphenated, bigot-sandwich-slingin', no-Sunday-workin', lazy piece of garbage. You take your toasted buns and your awesomely salty pickles and shove them straight up your born-again ass. For those of you too lazy to read the article linked above: go to hell you illiterate bastards, it's like, under 100 words long. I mean, admittedly I stole this graphic from it, and the picture alone kind of sums everything up, but still. The point is, Chick-fil-A hates the gays. And I don't hate the gays. So therefore I hate Chick-fil-A. And Pennsylvania, but I've been playing that card for a while. Some day I'm going to start my own restaurant and only give free food to abortion clinics and unprotected ass-orgies.

Seriously though, I actually kind of like Chick-fil-A's food. I don't eat there all that often, but they're pretty tasty. It's just a shame that I won't be able to eat there without thinking about jack-booted, right-wing nutjobs curb-stomping people just trying to scissor under the full consent of the law. Oh well, commence tacking Chick-fil-A up with Wal-mart on my list of "places I never really shopped at a whole lot before but am now definitely too morally outraged to spend money at."

So in conclusion, if you have to eat junk food, you might as well smother it with something I do like...

Disgusting Fucking Sauce- I cannot emphasize enough how delicious this is and how desperately you need to try making it, regardless of how horrible the recipe sounds. All you do is get a pot and heat up:

1 can of chili sauce
1 and 1/4 cups grape jelly

until it all swirls together in a shit-colored mixture. Put that shit on meatballs, chicken, whatever the fuck you want. It's akin to some of the best and easiest to make sweet BBQ sauce I've ever had.

I would like to mention that other people deserve the credit for both showing me that Chick-fil-A article and how to make that sauce, but I don't want to sully their good names by listing them on this smutty hole, so just know that there are much smarter people than I behind this article.