Copy-and-paste conversation- Working in the public service industry affords you plenty of opportunity to pick the brains of your neighbors and sample the local conversational landscape. Unfortunately, 99% of that landscape sucks. While I could, and most likely will, dedicate entire articles to each of these topics, here is a brief summary of what I have determined are the four different conversations I have on a daily basis:- Weather: "It sure is (hot/cold) out! But that's (okay/a living hell) because I prefer the (hot/cold). And after all that (snow/rain) we had last (winter/summer) I guess we were due for it!"
- Politics: "Interest rates are terrible! What gives, Obama? So much for that hope, huh?"
- Sports: "I notice you're a dude. How about when (player I've never heard of) (caught/fumbled) that (type of ball)? Oh man, what an (awesome dude/oaf)!"
- People trying to hide the fact that they have no fucking clue what they're saying: "How about this money, huh? Sure does pay for stuff! I'd like more of it than I have, but what can you do, ha ha!"
But I actually don't hate...
The unstoppable flow of absolute, bat-shit insanity- For every ninety-nine horribly generic conversations that I don't even have to listen to while I'm speaking, at least one will take me completely off guard. Whether it's a crotchety, taciturn old man breaking out of his shell to make fun of your company's horrible advertisements or a shaky, middle-aged woman calling to ask for your help in proving that doctors stole her dead aunt's body (I shit you not), these are the little gems that sometimes almost make life worth living. Seething beneath the surface of every human being is certain flow of unreal, festering madness that is contained behind a concrete dam between our brains and our mouths. I fucking love dealing with the little Dutch boys whose psychological fingers are slipping out of the cracks.
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