The Hood Internet- I'm A Flirt (Shoreline)- I know this one isn't really all that new, iTunes has randomly brought it back to my attention and I felt like dissecting its greatness, so bear with me. From what little I know about him, R. Kelly is not a complicated man. He urinates questionably. He spends a lot of time trying to free himself from storage spaces. And, according to this song, he-a flirt. Depending on how you want to interpret it I suppose you could argue that he is either labeling
himself a flirt or promising to do some serious flirting. Either way, the message is the same: do not bring your girl around Mr. Kelly. Cause he-a flirt. Say what you will about the man, he is honest. He even brought his friend T-Pain along to try and help convince you that, really, you should not introduce them to any lady you care about. I know, I know, it seems like such a good idea in principle, but they-a flirt. Hell, they might even holla at her. And then where would you be? Probably not with your girlfriend any longer if this song is any indication. But I mean really, it'd be your own dumb-ass fault, because they tried to warn you.Mash-up gurus The Hood Internet have even tried to help by adding music from Broken Social Scene's 7/4 (Shoreline), a pretty awesome song in its own right. I can only assume that The Hood Internet figured that by adding some BSS to the mix the song might reach wider, more indie-inclined audiences, thus making everyone aware of Kelly's serious medical condition of being a-flirt. The end result of all this song-fuckery is an off-kilter R&B public service announcement being magically transformed into an indie-dance masterpiece, finally liberating Kelly's music from the realm of people with rhythm deficiencies and inner-ear infections to the public at large, allowing everyone to know just how dangerous of a-flirt he really is.
But at the same time, not all mash-ups are automatic gold. For example, I still fucking hate...
Cheap Cologne's Double Black Album- I tried to find a song off of this musical abortion on YouTube, but after two different searches there weren't any available and I really didn't feel that it was worth any more of my time. The Double Black Album is Jay-Z's Black Album remixed with Metallica's Black Album (GET IT?!?). It's not that Cheap Cologne shouldn't get a few points for originality, and it's not like they didn't pull off this project with a certain degree of competence. The real problem I have with The Double Black Album is that at this moment in
internet history remixes of Mr. Z's Black Album have become so common that regardless of your musical inclinations there are better options out there. If you're hankering for quality, there's Danger Mouse's classic Grey Album, remixing Sir Z with The Beatles' White Album. I might be partial to this simply because it's one of the first remix albums I ever came across as an oily-faced school-boy, but I also firmly believe it's the best remix of The Black Album done to date. If you're more of a pretentious twat, there's also DJ N-Wee's The Slack Album, remixing Jayz with Pavement to create something that I've honestly never felt the urge to listen to all the way through but that I still applaud just for the sheer concept of it. And you know, there's probably like a thousand other Jay-Z remixes out there, but at some point, specifically after listening to 38 different mash-ups featuring him, I realized that I don't even really like Jay-Z enough to get Pokemon fever over this and feel like I gotta catch 'em all. I guess what I'm saying is that while mash-ups are a great idea, not all of them are necessary, and The Double Black Album is, unfortunately, good evidence to this very fact.
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