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I fucking hate...

Gender stereotyping in advertising- Men, as we all know, are different from women, and I'm not just talking about the difference between an outie and an innie. Advertisers have known this for years and have skillfully and subtly used it to stimulate our intellects as consumers. No one knows exactly how agencies ever accumulated such a wealth of knowledge about the unique behavioral patterns of the dueling sexes. Many state that the use of detailed focus groups has been key to understanding gender dynamics. Fewer, but more interesting, sources have suggested that most top advertising executives have inherited copies of the mythical Hackronomicon, an ancient and powerful book full of dark magics and hilarious insights known only to media moguls and 1980's stand-up comedians. Though the book's secrets have remained carefully guarded for generations, a few items have recently begun to leak to the general public. Through the use of detailed Latin scripture and occult diagrams, the text apparently teaches the power to touch the hearts and minds of the masses through such axioms as:

• Men hate shopping, while women love it.
• Women are good at cleaning homes, while men are bumbling morons.
• Men love beer; women love chocolate.
• The most horrible thing either sex could possibly endure would be to have to listen earnestly to, and have a frank discussion with the other.

The problem I have with basing advertising campaigns on these sexist notions goes beyond the fact that they are not, and have never been, funny. If you'll give me a minute to fetch my footstool, I would like to get on my high-horse and point out that they're actually quite offensive. Personally, I know how to run a washer and dryer. I also know ladies who don't necessarily cream their panties over the idea of going to the mall. Clearly, according to the marketing gods of yore, there is something desperately wrong with this. There is something desperately wrong with anyone who doesn't fit into the predetermined black-and-white gender category laid out for them by advertising culture.

"But wait," you're spitting cookie crumbs on your keyboard to point out, "these are just commercials. No one takes them that seriously." Which is a fair point. They are just ads. Most people in our society actually do a fairly fantastic job of completely tuning them out.

The problem is that if you shout something into a public vacuum long enough, no matter how ironically or sincerely you mean it, it becomes a part of the lens through which that culture views itself. Maybe, as a man, I really should hate going places with my girlfriend. Maybe I do need that pocket television so that I can watch sports and reaffirm the existence of my testicles. Maybe engaging in an actual conversation with her makes me an emasculated human skid-mark. Maybe we should all just fucking kill ourselves now rather than ever peacefully coexist again.

I think I've bitten off a little bit more than I can chew with this article, and will most likely go into more specifics later, but the point I want to drive home is this: gender-stereotyping in advertising conditions us to believe that each sex acts in a predetermined dynamic that not only makes them incompatible with one another for long periods of time, but also makes them seem like dysfunctional human garbage. While it isn't the responsibility of the media to reform us into better people, I do think we could do without the pounding repetition of this nonsense in order to hawk dish soap and pickup trucks. And to those wondering about the usual format of these articles, there is nothing I don't hate about this. Case fucking closed.