Must Be the Money

I fucking hate...

Uppity, rich people- I'm not sure exactly what income bracket you have to reach before you get your license to shit all over other people, but it must be relatively high. There's something about having money in our society that seems to automatically make you a total prat. The first time someone asks you, "Do you know how much my time is worth?" it almost seems like a joke. Before I began working in the soul-crushing money-factory that is a job in the "real wold," a phrase like this conjured up images of oil barons and rail tycoons blowing thick cigar smoke from behind bushy mustaches as their distended bellies hang out the front of their pinstriped suits. The sheer cartoonish surrealism of the fact that someone would ever say something like this outside of doing some shitty J. Jonah Jameson impression, makes it laughable. However, it becomes much less comic when shouted at you by some red-faced asshole who hopped out of his leased BMW so fast that it's impressive his hairpiece didn't fly off in the parking lot. The sense of entitlement that seems to seep out of every pore of your standard wealthy bastard never ceases to amaze me, as well as the sense of obliviousness. Believe it or not, shouting at someone whose yearly salary is less than 1/100th of your own does not make them sympathetic to your needs. It makes them sympathetic towards people like Brad Pitt in Fight Club and the entire French Revolution.

Though I must admit, I actually don't hate...

Rich people who look like crazy, poor people- When some neatly groomed tit in a polo shirt that costs more than my life drops a check for $160,000.00 on a desk in front of you, not only does it not seem like a big deal, it just seems sickeningly obvious. When some greasy dude with a bushy beard who looks like a Hell's Angel, or possibly someone's creepy uncle, does it, it's actually kind of awesome. While there's certainly nothing wrong with looking nice, there is more to life than appearances. So when some super-rich asshole decides to say "fuck it" and start dressing like a Salvation Army threw up on him because, you know, he can clearly afford to, I actually kind of have to admire them. Using your wealth to try to bully and impress the rest of the world into creaming over you is for chumps and twats. Using it to give the rest of society the finger and hope they think it's as funny as you do is for rock stars and true champions.